


not normal

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abusive Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider, Angst, Child Abuse, Dave Strider Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider is a Good Parent, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Parent/Child Incest, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:02:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26060866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ⚠️TW INCEST, CHILD ABUSE, NON EXPLICIT R*PE⚠️a small take on how dave strider might experience and feel about his sexual abuse. also a rewriting of a older fic of mine that i’ve now orphaned.
Relationships: Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider/Dave Strider
Kudos: 19





	not normal

**Author's Note:**

> some self projection of how i experienced my trauma into dave. this isn’t porn, and the details of the actual rape is very very vague. i didn’t want to describe the actual sexual abuse so a lot of this is dave’s thoughts and feelings. i’m sorry if it isn’t that good i haven’t written in a while.  
> quick edit: i’d prefer if actual bro/dave shippers don’t interact, but i can’t control you 🤷🏻♂️

it was hot. hot under dave’s covers. he had to have them up though, the possible vulnerability wasn’t worth it. the feeling of bro being able to touch his body because the blankets weren’t covering him. 

it was barley any protection anyways. dave knew that deep down, but it was better than nothing. he knew whether he had his blankets or not, bro was quiet. he would slip into him room without a sound. 

if it was going to happen tonight, it would be soon. it was always on schedule. bro would get done with....well whatever weird porn he’d recorded for his website. sometimes he would leave the apartment from anywhere to a few hours to a few days. leaving to go record with some other sex worker. 

the hand on his shoulder made him jump a little bit. no amount of sneaking up on him would get dave used to the feeling. he felt like prey in his own home. 

“covers off” 

his voice was cold, but that was to be expected. it was never filled with warmth that dave would imagine other fathers would have. not the kind that he would imagine johns dad having.

even when his friend was complaining about his dad, it still seemed to be in a normal parent child relationship way. 

what he has with bro was different. when he was younger it made him feel special. bro loved him enough to share this special game with him. even though it hurt, it would make his bro happy right? it’s not like he could tell his bro no anyways. 

“bro...please” his voice cracked. shit.

bro didn’t like dave showing that much emotion.  
bro harshly pulled down his covers. leaving dave with the vulnerability he hated so much. 

“i shouldn’t have to say it twice.” bro’s voice filled with more disgust and disappointment then normal.

bro’s usual voice was cold, and stoic so for it have emotion was scary. dave forced himself to sit up, not wanted to be in any more trouble. he knew at this point that if he didn’t take off his clothes himself they’d be forced off of him. there would be no consideration on what damage could be done to said clothes. 

“good boy dave.”

fuck. dave felt vile, and uncomfortable in his skin. he didn’t want to be looked at this way. he didn’t want his name to be said in that way. he felt like throwing up everything inside of him. he could feel the touches of gloved hands, even when bro wasn’t actually touching him. 

bro would then proceed to grope him. all up and around dave’s body. his chest, his thighs, his neck. it would all be on schedule, and all almost exactly the same as the last time. 

dave wasn’t sure if this was all normal. bro is all he’s ever had. dave has always been isolated from real life people. he only ever began to question himself when he first learned how to use a computer. when he first started talking to his pesterchum friends.  
the way they would talk about their parents always felt so different from the way he saw bro. he felt alien compared to him. 

sure the things bro did to him never felt good. they never felt loving, but he thought it was normal. he thought he was being prepared for how the real world is. how cruel, and harsh it is. at first he felt bad for his friends that they didn’t have a parent as good as bro to teach them. 

so no, dave doesn’t know if this is normal. if this is even right, but he do knows to survive right now he needs to comply with bro. he would dissociate himself from the situation. he would feel as if in another world, while bro used him. dissociating was something dave couldn’t do with the other things bro did to him. the strifing, the sneaking through the house just to survive, having to work for everything in his life, including the basics like food. 

it was oddly comforting to be able to just disconnect from this abuse. to go to a different world. sometimes bro would command things, pulling him out of this world. 

“dave beg me for it.”

again that disgusting vile feeling. all this disgust threatening to spill out from his throat. he was at a loss for words a moment too long.  
a harsh slap and sting left on his face brought him back completely. 

“bro....please...” a quiet, but auditable whisper dave forced out of himself. 

in truth he just wanted this over. if he were stronger he would refuse, but he wasn’t strong. he wasn’t like bro. he wasn’t able to defend himself. so he did what he had to do to survive. he complied. as dirty it left him feeling, it’s what he had to do. this whisper was enough for bro, as he undressed himself. 

dave just hopes that one day he will be bro’s equal.


End file.
